Why Dead Pets Matter

[Catherine]

This is a beautiful article about pet loss. The writer expresses so well what it means to lose a pet.
She had no idea until she lost her own cat just how intense the grieving would be.


http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/...ets-matter

It is not just a pet and you feel what you feel.
Those of us who have been through it know what it is like.

Time heals the intensity of the loss, but it never fully goes away.

I have a whole memorial garden of pets I have lost.

Do I still remember Sylvia my first goldfish? I recalled her name didn't I.

[Cibach]

They all live on with us. Losing someone you've cared for leaves a vast hole, no matter what species and of course the grief is overwhelming. But it is also a part of life, and the price we pay for all the good times we have with them.
We are contemplating a move of house next year. Anyone who moves into our current house will have to leave the side flower bed for at least a year before they dig!!

[Catherine]

I have thought about what it would mean  to move. I have a whole lot of garden that can't be dug too soon.
You figure a year is enough?

[Ruth]

yes they do matter! I am on some antidepressants so the grieving wasn't as hard for me with Lucy.

[Cibach]

(12-06-2015, 07:03 PM)Catherine Wrote: I have thought about what it would mean  to move. I have a whole lot of garden that can't be dug too soon.
You figure a year is enough?

I came up with a year because it was slightly more than that between Cappuccino and Latte going. When my husband dug for Latte I was concerned that it shouldn't be too close to Cappy, but he said all he found was a bit of old hay from the paper bag we buried her in and what might have been a bit of a leg bone. Cappy was a delicate one so would have melted back into the earth fairly quickly, but since then we have placed 6 more and by the time we placed Marigold we had to start back at the beginning of the flower bed again and there was no trace of those from the year before. Our flower bed in relatively small and we try to space them out but inevitably there is a little overlap. I guess it means I should not be sad about leaving them behind when/if we move because they aren't there anymore, and any way, they are always with me.

[Tobi]

Yes Cibach, their loving Spirit can go with you anywhere. I know what you mean about leaving their remains though, as there is still some attachment to them in that way.
I go out to Misty's grave every morning when I drink my first coffee. It has become my 'first thing' walk....similar to the 'poop and pee' foray we always made while I drank my first coffee in the morning. Same routine, only not into the field this time!

I know for sure Misty is not in the grave. All that was "her" is still happy and well, and often visits me. Her body is just a shape she wore when she was here.....kind of like a coat the real "Misty" wore. But nevertheless, even those bits and pieces in the grave still mean something to me.

Yes even those remains do still matter to us in some way.

I think it depends how big the creatures are as to how long they take to become part of the earth. I buried a large mouse and a small rat which Sally-cat killed. And only a couple of months or so later there was no trace, or very little trace, when I had to weed that garden.

[Catherine]

Hamsters and fish are gone with in weeks. I don't know about snakes and lizards. I guess it matters how big and what kind. I put shrubs in place so they can't be walked on. By the time the soil would be disturbed there would be nothing left.

I felt like Jonathan was with me this morning when I woke up.  In many ways she has stayed with me.

A year does seem right for the earthly part to pass. Can you move the remains with you when you go. You could take the soil from the bed with you and replace it with other soil.

Can you at least take the plants from the garden.

Ruth you may not have felt it as intensely, but you have really grieved the loss of Lucy. It has been a deep loss for you. She was so much a part of your life that you have to heal to feel complete. We all feel like we have lost a part of ourselves when we lose a beloved pet.

Losing my Koi was the hardest. It took a few weeks for the parasite to kill them all. I could do nothing to stop it, they were all infected. I sat on the floor beside the tank and waited with them for the end.

[Ruth]

It's so hard when our pet is dying, I really cried while I held Lucy in her last hours. She had such a happy look on her face when she passed.

[Catherine]

Quote:It's so hard when our pet is dying, I really cried while I held Lucy in her last hours. She had such a happy look on her face when she passed.

It does help if they pass peacefully, but a loss is a loss. No matter what, it is still hard. I wish I could be there every time I lose a pet, but so often it is during the night or while I am at work.    At least my pets have been able to die naturally at home. It is hard if you have to choose to end suffering. Even when it s the right thing to do, it is still hard.

[Ruth]

I sometimes think I should have put Lucy to sleep earlier than she died but it is what it is. I have a real hard time with putting pets down.